HEALTH WARNING

as authorized by REDGUM Audio P/L

Occupational Health & Safety Unit

 

 

All REDGUM products are guaranteed addictive and audiophilic in nature.

They are also guaranteed to be FREE of ADDITIONAL    COLOURINGS

                                                                                                  FLAVOURINGS

                                                                                                  Artificial PRESERVATIVES

  

Following exposure to any REDGUM, some or all of these symptoms may be observed:

    increase in pulse rate

    shortness of breath accompanied by sense of disbelief

    rapid mood swings - in their most extreme, to states of euphoria

    perceived expansion of aural range, both in height and depth

    confusion re earlier states of auditory memory loss, confirmed as not currently occurring

    resurgence of strong emotional memories

    lessening of sense of over-extension of hip pocket nerve

 Also:

    sudden onset of depressive states upon cessation of exposure

    sense of opportunities lost upon consideration of previous input

    momentary confounding when trying to use 2 hands at the same time

 

Prolonged use can lead to the following:

    lowering of blood and WAF pressure

    weight increase due to lack of exercise

    diminished sense of time passing

    strong desire to re-establish aural traces of known works

    urge to extend activation of hip pocket nerve

    limitation of range of interests and hobbies

 

Recommended Dosage: 

Should symptoms persist, increase the dosage to induce further relaxation

Do NOT contact your audio professional – he is already contagious

 

Prognosis: 

      “Insight for Sore Ears”

                                                    REDGUM Audio